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APRIL FOOLS: Hexoshi rewritten in BASIC

Item posted by Julie Marchant <onpon4> on Sat 01 Apr 2017 02:55:16 PM UTC.

I have exciting news about a brand-new effort which is almost ready to be revealed.

It is well-known that Python is a difficult to read programming language, and it is clearly woefully out-of-date. A more modern language is needed. Therefore, I am happy to announce that Hexoshi has been ported to BASIC, and the repository will reflect this port very soon.

This decision required substantive rewrites of the Hexoshi source code, which involved hours of behind-the-scenes work and many sleepless nights. However, it is my firm belief that the adoption of BASIC will save vast amounts of time and money in the long-run.

Even better, Hexoshi will be able to run on a wider selection of computers, including the Commodore 64, the ZX Spectrum and the Apple II. Support for these systems has been widely demanded by backers, and can now be made into a reality.

Of course, Hexoshi releases for Windows and GNU/Linux will be based on FreeBasic.

There are of course some caveats for Windows users. Due to the limitations of this system's ability to handle the advanced and elegant nature of BASIC, builds for it will unfortunately be limited to 16 colors. Additionally, Windows will not be able to display the Insane-HD™ graphics provided by FreeBasic, again due to the limitations of the system. However, as Windows is a secondary platform, it is my belief that this will be a worthwhile trade-off. It has been estimated that Windows will be fully capable of delivering the full experience of the new Hexoshi by Windows 22, based on projections of past development, and that this version will be available in 2030.

All CrowdSupply backers have been secretly contacted. While some expressed some disdain at the extra work, when I explained that I would be doing this work at no charge, everyone quickly agreed that the move was a phenomenal idea. Here are some quotes from some of the backers:

"I was excited for Hexoshi before, but now I am even more excited! I cannot wait to try Hexoshi with the advanced graphics BASIC will give."

"Thank you so much! It is going to be fantastic to finally be able to play this game on my Commodore 64."

"Yes, it's about time we stopped bending over to the will of Microsoft and use such an outdated language as Python just for them. Good on you! Hopefully this will encourage Microsoft to finally get up-to-date with proper BASIC support, which is what everyone obviously wants."

"I am really excited for this move because I found Hexoshi's Python source code to be esoteric. With the new BASIC rewrite, I will finally be able to contribute to this great game. Thank you!"

"What? BASIC? Are you ******* kidding me?"

"This is wonderful news. I was worried that Hexoshi might succumb to the imminent end-of-life for Python. The switch to BASIC means that Hexoshi will be supported on all major operating systems for years to come."

"I am a packager for a GNU/Linux distro based on FreeBASIC. At first I was worried that I would have to exclude your wonderful game, Hexoshi, from the package system, but knowing that you have started porting the game to BASIC, I am hopeful again. Thank you!"

"I personally prefer Brain****, but this is a step in the right direction. I applaud you for the decision to purge Python, clearly the worst language ever invented by a human."

Happy April 1, everyone!


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